Intermediate Theatre students will choose one of the monologues below to perform at their audition. They do NOT have to memorize the monologue. However, they should be FAMILIAR and COMFORTABLE performing it. EXPRESSION and STRONG CHARACTERIZATION are a must!

FEMALE
From The Holiday by Nancy Meyers
Iris: And I'm about three years late in telling you this, but nevertheless I need to say it. Jasper, you have never treated me right. Ever. You broke my heart. And you acted like somehow it was my fault, my misunderstanding, and I was too in love with you to ever be mad at you, so I just punished myself! For years! But you waltzing in here on my lovely Christmas holiday, and telling me that you don't want to lose me whilst you're about to get MARRIED, somehow newly entitles me to say, it's over. This - This twisted, toxic THING between us, is finally finished! I'm miraculously done being in love with you! Ha! I've got a life to start living. And you're not going to be in it.


FEMALE
From Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Maud Montgomery
Anne: Oh, Mrs. Lynde. I am so extremely sorry. I could never express all my sorrow, no, not if I used up a whole dictionary. You must just imagine it. I behaved terribly to you--and I've disgraced the dear friends, Matthew and Marilla, who have let me stay at Green Gables although I'm not a boy. I'm a dreadfully wicked and ungrateful girl, and I deserve to be punished and cast out by respectable people forever. It was very wicked of me to fly into a temper because you told me the truth. It was the truth; every word you said was true. My hair is red and I'm freckled and skinny and ugly. What I said to you was true, too, but I shouldn't have said it. Oh, Mrs. Lynde, please, please, forgive me. If you refuse it will be a lifelong sorrow to me. You wouldn’t like to inflict a lifelong sorrow on a poor little orphan girl would you, even if she had a dreadful temper? Oh, I am sure you wouldn't. Please say you forgive me, Mrs. Lynde.


FEMALE
From The Goose-Girl by A.W. Lintern
Agatha: So you are happy, well-clothed and well-fed. We must see to that. We cannot have you too comfortable, my dear, can we? I shall see that you have nothing but a sack to wear, nothing but a cellar to sleep in, and naught but a crust and a cup of water each day. You shall be roused ach morning at the earliest hour, and kept at work until dark. How I shall gloat over you! I shall come and see you every day in your misery, and each time I shall wear a new dress and a new set of jewels. Just you wait until I am married to Stefan – I shall be mistress of the palace and my word shall be law. So I cannot make you talk, but I can make you writhe. Falada is dead – the grooms took him out and cut off his head. I ordered it. Do you hear? I ordered it. And not I an going to write to my dear step-father and tell him how happy we are. I shall tell him that Grizelda and Stefan are to be married tomorrow. Now get out, you – you goose-girl.


FEMALE
From Snoopy! The Musical
 written by Warren Lockhart, Arthur Whitelaw, and Michael Grace, based on the comic strip "Peanuts" by Charles M. Schulz
Sally: A 'C'? A 'C'? I got a 'C' on my coathanger sculpture? How could anyone get a 'C' in coathanger sculpture? May I ask a question? Was I judged on the piece of sculpture itself? If so, is it not true that time alone can judge a work of art? Or was I judged on my talent? If so, is it fair that I be judged on a part of my life over which I have no control? If I was judged on my effort, then I was judged unfairly, for I tried as hard as I could! Was I judged on what I had learned about this project? If so, then were not you, my teacher, also being judged on your ability to transmit your knowledge to me? Are you willing to share my 'C'? Perhaps I was being judged on the quality of coathanger itself out of which my creation was made...now is this not also unfair? Am I to be judged by the quality of coathangers that are used by the drycleaning establishment that returns our garments? Is that not the responsibility of my parents? Should they not share my 'C'? . . .Thank you, Miss Othmar. The squeaky wheel gets the grease!


MALE OR FEMALE
From You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown by Clark Gesner
Snoopy (spoken): *growl* My stomach clock just went off. It's suppertime and Charlie Brown forgot to feed me. Here i lie, a withering hollow shell of a dog, and there sits my supper dish.. EMPTY! But that's alright. He'll remember. When no furry friend comes to greet him after school, then he'll remember, and he'll rush out here to the doghouse but it'll be too late. There will be nothing left but the dried carcass of the former friend who used to run and play so happily with him. Nothing left, but the bleach puppy bones of…


MALE
From You're A Good Man Charlie Brown
 written by Clark Gesner, from the comic strip by Charles Schultz
Charlie Brown: I think lunchtime is about the worst time of day for me. Always having to sit here alone. There's that cute little red-headed girl eating her lunch over there. I wonder what she would do if I went over and asked her if I could sit and have lunch with her?...She'd probably laugh right in my face...it's hard on a face when it gets laughed in. There's an empty place next to her on the bench. There's no reason why I couldn't just go over and sit there. I could do that right now. All I have to do is stand up...I'm standing up!...I'm sitting down. I'm a coward. I'm so much of a coward, she wouldn't even think of looking at me. She hardly ever does look at me. In fact, I can't remember her ever looking at me. Why shouldn't she look at me? Is there any reason in the world why she shouldn't look at me? Is she so great, and I'm so small, that she can't spare one little moment?...SHE'S LOOKING AT ME!! SHE'S LOOKING AT ME!! (he puts his lunchbag over his head.) ...Lunchtime is among the worst times of the day for me.


MALE
From Barefoot in the Park by Neil Simon
PAUL: Oh yeah? ... Well, I’ve got a big surprise for you … I’m not going to be here when you get back … Let’s see how you like living alone … A dog … Ha! That’s a laugh … Wait till she tries to take him out for a walk … He’ll get one look at those stairs and he’ll go right for her throat. You might as well get a parakeet, too … So you can talk to him all night. “How much can I spend for bird seeds, Polly? Is a nickel too much?” Well, fortunately, I don’t need anyone to protect me. Because I’m a man, sweetheart … An independent, mature, self-sufficient man. (Sneezes.) God bless me! I probably got the flu. Yeah, I’m hot, cold, sweating, freezing. It’s probably a twenty-four hour virus. I’ll be all right. Well, I guess that’s it. Good-bye, leaky closet … Good-bye, no bathtub … Goodbye, hole … Good-bye, six flights … Goodbye, Corie … Don’t I get a good-bye? ... According to the law, I’m entitled to a good-bye!


MALE
From Spider-Man
written by David Koepp, from the characters created by Stan Lee and Steve Ditko
Green Goblin: Wake up little spider, wake up. No, you're not dead... yet... Just paralyzed... temporarily. You're an amazing creature, Spiderman, you and I are not so different. Well... to each his own. I chose my path, you chose the path of the hero and they found you amusing for a while, the people of this city. But the one thing they love more than a hero is to see a hero fail, fall, die trying. In spite of everything you've done for them, eventually they will hate you. Why bother? Here's the real truth. There are eight million people in this city and those teeming masses exist for the sole purpose of lifting the few exceptional people onto their shoulders. You and me, we're exceptional. I could squash you like a bug right now, but I'm offering you a choice. Join me. Imagine what we could accomplish together. What we could create or we could destroy. Cause the death of countless innocents in selfish battle again and again and again until we're both dead? Is that what you want? Think about it hero...